Sadness, tiredness, dirtiness & a mess of adjectives, similies and metaphors.

The sadness comes from Garry Robertson. This makes anything that follows meaningless.

The tiredness is from a cynical nastiness from certain teams in this league going unpunished. Today’s opponents are the worst. Mark’s achilles were raked and he was rightly livid and squared up. Yellow card to Mark. Chris was elbowed in the face 3 times in succession (yes, that is THREE) and he gets a yellow for retaliation. Stoneds knew the ref was soft and played it to the hilt – kicking off the ball, shirt pulling everywhere. Something has to be done about this cause it is getting worse. I cut a huge paragraph from my ‘cleaned up report’ against Stoneds last time (we won 8-0 just in case anyone is thinking sour grapes) for TML because it is best for them to be nice and jolly and sometimes pretend everything is candy floss pink and fluffy in the league – but it has happened again big time and I am being dishonest to the lads if all is swept under the futon again. And Fraser gets a yellow for a mistimed tackle – maybe just ok but then there should have been 11 yellows on the day.

The funny thing is that Stoneds didn’t need to. They won unfair and square, played some excellent football and would have got to the next round without the dark side.

Vags started really well and Mark had a snap effort that whizzed just over like a sexually active and somewhat freckled dolphin within the first couple of minutes.Waynehad a superb first half and played a couple of vacuum cleanerish balls in behind the defence for Nao to chase down like a man in possession of a soiled policeman’s helmut. Final ball not good enough but good movement.

Stoneds started to come back into things but Vags nipped it in the hymen when Tom got the ball in midfield, and, doing his Al Gore crossed with Marge Simpson act, slipped it through to Nao who just edged in ahead of the keeper and slipped it home as if he were a constipated toad.

Stoneds started to push and scored a brilliant goal – an excellent orange blossom-like volley from 12 yards out leaving the YCAC ground encased in an evocative Asian aroma.

Things were as positive as a slightly positive sheet of crisp white paper at half time but, as the second half progressed, the evil ones gained superiority in a Kublai Khan fashion.

Their centre back was so comfortable on the ball he could have been mistaken for Al Capone playing croquet and he netted an excellent second for the smurfs. A third followed but the end of the game was overshadowed by the fact that Stoneds were at it, getting away with it, knew it and were laughing. I thought the Vags did well not to have anybody just lay into one of them (which would have been the number 7 of course).

Graham made a number of vanilla scented blocks and that was further testament that the monitor lizards had the upper had throughout the second half.

Steve G and Muzzy should get algae mentions for two mistakes followed by amazingly good make up tackles and blocks. Steve G, in particular stretched full length to block an open goal effort and theYaltaconference did, indeed, seem like a distant memory.

Back to the league then and the next two games will be as crucial as a razor in a whorehouse. (aah, crumbled at the end and put in one that makes sense)

RS

Excuse the number of nouns ending in ‘ness’ at the start of the report – I have had a fungi spore ridden day.