Building Castles in the Sand
A long, long time ago in a far off land called the Rising Sun (a pub in Yotsuya not Nippon itself) a young Prince, who was regent to the territory of ‘Shoddy Bodyland’ which covered a swath of Tokyo, envisaged a grand and most estimable plan, over an Ichibanshibori and a bowl of piping hot ramen.
‘Let us’ the young royal burbled, ‘go forth into the less hospitable areas of our kingdom, and spread the word about this chipper game called footy. And let me have, now and forever, another pint.’ The bureaucrats who surrounded his throne were understandably concerned by this mad plan and tried to get him to take a rickshaw home, even though in those days the Prince was able to legally cycle while under the influence and oftentimes did. Such was their concern about this weird and worrying scheme.
And one of his chief advisors, Jenny Slackshorts, said to the Prince, ‘but Lordy Gordy, if you sally forth into the unknown you will end up in horrible places full of creatures of unimaginable disgust and filth and goodness knows what may happen to the clubs’ moral standards.’
And the Prince, with a gleam in his own, looked her in the eye, deeply and wisely, though not averse to a quick flick downwards to her shorts, and said in a deep resonant voice, full of timbre and ale,
‘If you go to Todoroki, thou should never build Sandcastles and if you go to Oi Futo an Ume Shu is what thou should bring. But………if you do go to Todoroki the number two shall be important indeed and laden with the meaning of the ancients of the BFC. And can I have another pint please.’ And Jenny Slackshorts was impressed indeed by these words of weighty wisdom and gave him another peek.
So goes the story………except the Vags did build sandcastles today but they held forth despite the Zionic salty waves lapping at the edges throughout the second half. Which just goes to show the Princes’ quarter century old mutterings were probably just down to him being pissed.
On the other hand we are a bit freaked out by the references to the number two which are eerily spot on and have got us into séances and stuff.
For example:
Two brilliant saves from Graham – one was the best I have seen in a total of twelve years plus ofTokyo football. It was world class and people can say this is hyperbole but I was there and saw it and am happy with this particular adjectival phrase. And those who know me know I would NEVER build Graham up because he can do that very well himself thank you very much.
Two goals from Phil – no surprise there you say? Well that is probably the truth but therefore a testament to the season he’s having.
Two excellent blocks on the line from Tom.
Too much scrappy play in the middle of the park but an amazing amount of tackles put in by the Vags.
To the match then:
Vags lined up with a squad which was not the strongest and given our tussles with Zionin the last couple of years (this was our 5th in 15 months or so) we knew it was going to be tough to take anything from it. But we could have done without it being quite so tough. Though, then again, it made it all the sweeter. Toil, sweat, tears and blood and all that. Steve G’s blood mostly – Tom’s peely wally effort at a ripped knee didn’t really count in my book.
Early doors was a spirit level of a game – the wee bubble edging one way then the other. Not much in it. Vags went ahead around half way through – ball was won in the centre of the park and Masahiro scampered down the wing pulling the attention of theZiondefence with him. Steve Glenn had the ball at his feet and turned what seemed to be the entire team when he decided to check back inside and cross a ball with his left. Weaker foot schmeaker foot, it was a great delivery and Phil was there to head downwards and into the corner. The contact wasn’t the best and it was slow mo as it crept in but a good goal nonetheless.
Cue Graham’s wonder save. A brilliant long range shot fromZionand it is 1-1. I am directly behind the strike when he hit it and it is 1-1. Except Graham somehow arches backwards and even though the ball is already on the downward trajectory into the net he manages to get a strong upward hand full stretch and inch it over the bar. Pick your superlative. Mine would be preceded by quite a few swear words acting as intensifying adjectives. It was still 1-0.
The spirit level came back out of the carpenter’s bag again and the rest of the half bore a goal apiece. The first toZionbeing a well executed free kick after a Zionarticor was clipped 25 yards out. The second of this particular two which proved also to be the final goal of the game came from the head of the Phil of the Goals and it was a worthy winner for any game. (well any game played at this god forsaken hell hole anyway). A throw in to Vags and our very own wandering minstrel, Nao, jogged away, his back to the thrower Lyndsey. A ferocious ‘NAAAOOOOOOOOO’ followed by a even more ferocious throw and Kaneko-san realised he was suddenly involved in the move, woke up quickly, took on their left back and drove to the point of the line before lofting a foie gras sautéed in fresh grape juice of a cross which Phil stylistically rose to head home. The first two participants in the goal were chatting later saying what a fluke it was – I, somewhat non-plussed, countered that it was more or less perfect vision for the throw, a perfect cross and a perfect header, what was the problem? The simultaneous answer was that if it goes perfectly for the Vags then it is, by definition, a fluke. The heavy weight of logic crushed me and I went to get an apple Chu-Hi.
The second half was a tough shift for the Vags andZionlifted their game and pushed throughout. If I were them I would be seriously disappointed not to have taken anything from the game. Graham pulled off another really good save from another excellent effort just outside the area – again finger tipping over the bar. It would normally go down as brilliant in this kind of report but after the first one everything pales into insignificant twaddle.
Vags were dominant in the air –Tom bossing the middle and Muzzy getting everything upfront but Vagabonds only offered snatches in attack under the heavy moss of pressure from theZionattack.
Backs to the wall indeed but I have rarely seen Vags fight so well. Man of the match could be at least 5 people and that doesn’t often happen. In particular Masahiro was tigerish at right back, Steve commanding in the centre of defence yet still finding time to break and probe. Ged helping everyone keep shape as well as a few good headers and excellent chasing down. Lynsdey was immense and Tom superb. Graham makes it 6 right enough. But the overall team performance was the key.
To come back to our prescient founder….the Sandcastle moment was when Graham was told not to build the pesky little mounds to take his goal kicks. Obviously I doubt this is a FIFA rule given that the beautiful game isn’t usually played on such surfaces but Graham was finally forced to agree, after a medium length conversation, to ‘try not to’.
Laugh?………….I nearly shat.
Well done Vags – proud of the……………oh God almost sounded like George W Bush for a minute…..pphhheeww…..
RS